MUSIC FOR THE JOURNEY

It took some time to put together all that music had meant for me along the way. When I was a teen, I listened to classical (Beethoven the favorite), broadway musical (West Side Story), easy listening voice (Andy Williams) and piano (Ferrante & Teicher), and folk music (Peter, Paul & Mary). Most of the music I had came through the Columbia Record Club which provided a good number of albums to listen to on my portable Garrard player. 

I did listen to what was popular on the radio but never that seriously, in that I really didn't know many of the artists very well. I still had some favorite songs and bought several albums. But it wasn't until after I had been back from Vietnam for quite awhile that I first realized that much of the popular music had been an integral part of my journey. 

My wife and I went to see Love, Janis, a play based on the book of the same name by Janis Joplin's sister who lived in Denver. Janis's psychedelic Porshe was on display in the foyer. Part of the play was a girl singing her songs quite accurately. (not sure it did her voice much good) To my surprise, I knew most of the lyrics. But further, I was quite glad to know that they fit into my life as did so many songs by other artists.

From that point, I began collecting all the songs and music that were important to me. Fortunately, iTunes was soon available, and I was able to pick and choose my way through the quest of filling in the music from my past and also what I was enjoying from what had come out more recently. I was glad to complete my history. To be truthful, I didn't particularly enjoy Janis's music when I first heard it. I didn't enjoy a lot of the music of that time. For example, I remember watching the film about Woodstock with friends in Vietnam. In a way it couldn't get much better than that. But not even half way through, we all decided to leave and do something else. 

I didn't know the true extent that this music  appreciation had affected my life until even later. But the music kept popping up in some very poignant and interesting areas. One was in a book and play titled A Piece Of My Heart, a very typical Janis tune. 

I had read the book, so was anxious to see the play. On a minimal stage with young actors in a small theater in Denver, what I knew came to life in a way that I almost shook with having no further way to deny all that happened there ...and here

I don't think my theater companion noticed, ...and I'm glad.

When I think of those times and those years, there were many individuals and groups that had meaningful contributions. But for me, some loomed particularly large and continued to provide music for the journey. The artist that I had neglected the most was Bob Dylan. From that time until now, I've come to appreciate him as the prophet of a generation. Knowing the songs he wrote that were made popular by others adds to my appreciation. 

I'll not go into detail as others are far more informed than I. Mainly, it was the music that was there, that made a difference, that lasted until this day and that formed a memory however understood. 

For me, John Denver is another large contributor for then and over time. In Colorado, it was mandatory for Denverites to play Rocky Mountain High any time they  went to the mountains, or sing it very loudly. High here could mean a couple things. One being obvious, the other was the amazing feeling you had standing on a fourteener. It was said that you weren't a true Coloradoan until you had seen a plane fly beneath your feet. There were, and still are, 53 mountains over fourteen thousand feet. A popular fete was to scale all of them. Fortunately, there were a couple you could just drive to the top and some more where you could get close.

The mountains must have been a great inspiration to John, but he wrote about many things. He was criticized for his simple and sentimental tunes, but I don't think anyone remembers those critics now nor do that many fondly remember some of the music that was supposed to be so much better.

John might quite naturally be more appreciated here. Such was seen when a stage play of his life was presented at the Denver Center Theater. Though the play, various actors sang his songs with many theatergoers singing along. 

Any number of John Denver's songs could be considered a favorite, but Leaving On A Jet Plane was the one that marked a particular day for so many. But John wasn't as well known at the time as were Peter, Paul & Mary who popularized it. Both versions are done rather well. 

There were few groups that we got to see gradually age in all the different ways we can, but Peter, Paul & Mary went from youthful folksingers to liberal activists to PBS fundraisers. Sure, I enjoyed the early work the most but appreciated what they later, as a group or an individual, contributed. Noel Paul Stookey's Wedding Song was particularly beautiful.

a

 

Music came in all shapes and sizes. I have enjoyed 

the variety which was a big change from where I started. But when it came to what was playing in the background at so many important moments, what made up the soundtrack of my life, what made me stop for a moment to smile or to shed a tear, and what lasted until now and still holds so much meaning, it was largely from a few artists. There was plenty of thankfulness and fulfillment, but I soon thought it was the same for many others whose taste in music and experience in life was much different from mine. We all needed music for the the next mile ahead. I can not imagine the journey without it. 

BONUS PIC

The Sangre de Cristo mountains were the first fourteen footers we saw in Colorado as we came in from the Southwest. We went on a picnic in the snow with my aunt and her family. 

NOT WHAT I EVER THOUGHT

I wonder at the number of people, religions, governments, ideologies, philosophies and all else that claim to know what life is about or not about. Mainly because they exclude so much, especially when it comes to God. It doesn't seem possible that everything can fit into one schema. Which leads to the question of what is the operating principle of life? And can it be known and understood?

The only solid evidence you can get your hands on is what is and what has been. Some rely on a sacred text to determine where everything fits, some on academic intellect, some on intuitive knowledge, some on emotional responses and some according to what benefits them the most. To me, all of these come up short.

I'm not surprised that some scientific evolutionists believe they can explain everything and even determine what is right. I'm beginning to wonder if they are not wanting to be worshiped. Likewise, I love how militant atheists like Christopher Hitchens (RIP) and others who not only determine there is no God for themselves but also no God for anyone else. Then there are the politically extreme liberals and conservatives who believe they are so right that anyone who believes differently is not only completely wrong but an enemy to be eliminated or at least marginalized by any means. Exclusive religious claims are the most difficult as you can make up about most anything and get a following willing to believe just because it is said to be true and jump through most any hoop that is placed before them.

Take one day to get a sense of other cultures, take time to know more than one view of history, take more than a moment to understand the adherents of other faiths, take care to be factual in criticizing the political opposition, and take the same critical view of yourself and your friends as you do for others before you determine, for some rather amazing reason, that you are right and everyone else is wrong.

I have an idea that on any given day, news of every kind falls far short of the full picture of events and experiences. Media predictably covers what it's always covered. There are the feel good stories that are thrown in but they say little about the day to day getting along and making it through that makes up the life of so many. Here are the tears and the laughter, the joy and sorrow, the weddings and funerals, the births and deaths, the fearful doubting and confident faith that is held in common. Some believe it's our differences that make us who we are and to some extent that's true, but how can you discount the overwhelming sameness?

  

At first I pursued what was right, then what was right as a sincere Christian. But now, it's what is right for me which I'm pretty sure isn't right for any one else. I'm still a Christian, just not any particular kind of Christian. No, it's not what I ever thought, but it fits. Yet, I'm not about to just see life from this place I now occupy. There is too much more going on. And I'm pretty sure no one has the capacity to put it all together, much less put a frame around it. Besides, I'm still expecting changes. I'm not at the end of the journey, although it's come close a couple times.

There's a good sense of freedom and equality in everyone getting to be and do what is right for themselves without imposing it on anyone else or believing they are ultimately right. Nor should anyone be in a position to judge someone who lives and believes differently. No one can afford to be so right, even if they are claiming some higher authority or quoting verses from an ancient text or delineating superior knowledge or interpreting a political document. Yet, it goes on and on.

There's some contentment in not having to be right about everything. Besides it appears awfully convenient more that anything else. I had to laugh at myself when I realized the utter impossibility of someone from an obscure part of Pennsylvania possessing the ultimate truth of the universe. As they say, it's a great job if you can get it.

There is a lot to enjoy and celebrate about life. But for some, that is not enough. Having or knowing the answer to everything is crucial. I'm not sure if that's a sincere inquiry or a need to feel superior but regardless, recognizing and accepting  the limitations brings even more of a sense of awe and puts the significance of humanity in it's proper place. .....Of course, there's always the possibility that I might be wrong about nobody being totally right.


HALLOWEEN BONUS PIC

DAYS OF OUR LIVES

I have an on again, off again history of watching  soap operas starting when I was young and when we only had a one channel. And when to watch anything on TV was still rather fascinating, at least to me. There have been many changes in the daytime dramas over the years and now they are about gone from the original networks. Their own particular interest and take on life captured the attention of many. The soap opera I now regularly watch is "Days of our Lives." 

It can keep my interest but it does need some suspension of reality at times and the story lines borrow from the the supernatural when the ratings dip. Are we really going to believe it when Stefano is killed the next time? Despite knowing how characters and actors come and go, I still got upset when Beau Brady recently left Hope and Ciara to go off on some urgent mission or adventure of self-discovery in Europe or other parts unknown. This seems to be a common theme for the show, Jack and John just to name a couple notorious absentees.

Also, I'm not sure if it's wise to talk about secrets in the middle of the Brady Pub, the Horton Town Square, the park, the ...you get the picture. But how else can you have someone staying off to the side who goes unnoticed as they hear some "personal" information. By the way people so quickly show up all the time, the lake can't be much farther than a 100 yards from the Square. And everything else is much closer. That part of Salem must be really overbuilt.

And how come if the DiMera mansion is supposed to be so big, almost everything happens in only two of it's rooms. Of the multiple staff, we only see Harold the butler, and most of the time he's never around to answer the door. Likewise, it's hard to believe that so much of what occurs in the hospital happens around one nurses' station, another area where secrets are dangerously shared. 

The patient room next to the desk has the convenient window with a blind in it that is mandatory for all medical shows, so I get that. But I don't get that it's used when the emergency room is full. First off, I have to think what happened in Salem to cause so many patients or is the ER just unbelievably small.

And does Rafe know that he's now back in the same room where Officer Bernardi was going to cut off his penis because he was involved with Kate, Stephano's ex-wife and business giant who never seems to be at the office but was shot by Sami, Rafe's ex-wife, with the gun that Kate had given her for an engagement gift because she was going to be marrying into the DiMera family. Of course Sami went unnoticed when Officer Bernardi entered because she was in the bathroom which was really the wrong time for him to forget his police training.

I could go on and probably should, but the point is that playing make-up, and sometimes playing make out, at least I think they're playing, isn't asking anything of me except a little appreciation for their constraints. It doesn't have to all fit together or necessarily make sense, in order to tell the story. Sure, it's all there to have fun with if you want but beware, it's easy to get caught up in one or more story lines and just have to see how they turn out. 

Admittedly, I am curious as to how the actors make it all seem possible despite the manipulated plot lines and how they overcome the ridiculous so we can take it all quite seriously if we want. Oddly, that isn't much different than what we get in many other areas of our lives except the potential for far more serious consequences. Which might explain why the only way I can watch "The Sopranos" is to see it as a sit-com.

Media, religion, government, education, emergency services, hospitals, the arts, business, sports, military and many other areas of life seem to flex according to how much "playing make-up" is going on. In addition there's the role that all the real  "making out" plays. There seems to be a lot of soap operas in the news lately and they're asking even more than the usual. Too many are willing to put the good and needed in jeopardy or  to slowly piss it all away because they are not willing to determine the real work from all the playing make-up.

I'm heartened by the abundance of human spirit that some have in conditions that I've seen but could never imagine living in. Their days are so different than mine. Somewhere along the way, I came to not feel guilty for the days that were given to me. But no day goes by that I'm not aware of other lives, especially those of children. I don't know what will come of it all, I suspect that's where faith comes in, but I would hope that I don't do anything that makes it harder for others, except maybe for my two boys who I know can handle it.

"Days of our Lives" might be relegated to a cable network someday, maybe someday soon. But if it endures just to November, it will be 48 years of sands going through the hour glass. I can get emotional watching a review of all that time. For me, it represents what it takes to keep it all going forward and the moments that mark the many passages. But as my wife would say, "It isn't REAL!" I still think there's something to it.

Obviously not everyone is going to know what the Christmas bulbs mean in the show but you don't really have to, a good guess will get you there. There are many ways to understand the days of our lives. It's going to take a lot of sorting though, so a definitive answer isn't going to be known anytime soon. But maybe it's not necessary to know it all in order to really live. I heard a poem on "The Writer's Almanac" that gave an interesting perspective.

Life is so many things wrapped in an uneven unfolding that can take us to the deepest despair and to the zenith of ecstasy in the same day. It doesn't have to be that drastic to get my attention, but I'll still never get used to such changes. Yet, regardless of how much I might want to to walk out of the show at times, my curiosity keeps me here, perhaps riveted. Even a rough ride can have a smooth ending. ...Right?

A MOSQUE ON THE PRAIRIE

Sometimes it's hard to keep up with just the basics of what is happening in the world today. So much is disheartening that it's difficult to maintain the Pollyanna world that you have made for yourself. Perhaps that's why it's easier to subscribe to one perspective that puts everything into its proper place. But if you can't just turn from all the unpleasantness or don't have a structure to attach what otherwise makes no sense then you are left with a lot of questions and doubts. ...Or you just use it all for copy, via Nora Efron.

One of the better happenings here on the prairie is an effort for a number of counties to secede from Colorado. If successful, I'll be living in a different state than my wife. A goal that I have been working on for a long time. 

              *Market Watch

There are more counties that might join but the likelihood of their being successful is slim. It still is fun to think about. I'm not sure what all the dissension is totally about but high on the list are gun laws, and animal rights. ...And the fact that most of the defectors are Republican.

One of the worse happenings quite recently is the 1429 people killed with nerve gas in Syria, 426 of which were children per John Kerry. Granted that the situation and the issues are complicated, but the children aren't.

*Press/TV

It's hard to think about the number of children that are killed each day by abuse, drone strikes, lack of food, lack of medicine, genocide, terrorism and ignorant beliefs. Please don't tell me that's just the way things are.

One of the most revealing things that happens is the media telling us what Ted Nugent's says. I'm not sure whether he's an asshole or just plays one on TV.

*syracuse.com

I'll not list his opinions as they have that shock jock, attention getting "nuance" to them, but I'll say he's entitled. You know, free speech and all. I just can't figure out how Rock and Roll failed him.

In what might be seen as an odd twist, Buddhists are killing Muslims in Myanmar and burning their homes and shops. (RNS, Richard S. Ehrich) There's a lot of odd, and many times violent, religious happenings, but this seems a bit out of place.

Whatever happened to being mindful? I always counted on Buddhists being nice. Sure there was the occasional scandal and individual excesses and shortcomings, but I certainly thought they'd make good neighbors.

Political gamesmanship is an unfortunate part of what's happening, but it's interesting when you get criticized for pointing out a legitimate problem. Of course, it doesn't help if you have a history of pointing out problems that don't exist.

Sarah Palin's exposure of Ayo Kimathi, a Federal employee who advocated race war on the internet, was said to be hurling insults until it was seen how unimaginable is was for Kimathi to work work for Homeland Security and that he had already been reported on but nothing came of it. He has since been placed on leave. 

This is a good example of the blanket wrongness that is too often used. You can't be right no matter what the truth is. "I know, I know," Obama was heard saying.

That's about enough of the part of life that gets so much unwarranted attention from the mainstream. Thank God for all the rest that provides sense, harmony and a hope of peace. There are the wonders of creation to consider despite the magical claims of materialism. Even if you don't live near Yellowstone or Yosemite, chances are there's a bit of creation's  beauty right outside your door ...or darn close.

*mystical solitude

I'm not discounting science but truly believe it's not the final determination of what is. I'm also a believer in puppies and kittens. They're just too AWEdorable. And they're still amazingly wonderful when they are older.

                * email photo

If what's happening leaves you with questions and doubts, that might be the best it can get. If so, I'll take the stream of grace that is running through the universe any day. I still want to believe that we're heading forward at a pace that can be changed. But striving to make that happen might be as hard as trying to build a mosque in the new state of Northern Colorado. ...Let it be so.

THE FEELING OF FREEDOM

As a child, July began with a bang. A bang of fireworks that ended a day of fun activities at Holliday, PA. I looked forward to that day almost as much as I did Christmas. It was easily the highlight of my summers for many years. But most of the other days were pretty darn good. I told my brother the other day that I didn't remember a bad summer. Part of that was based on how much I hated going to school. The other part was the feeling of freedom. 

Like many my age, my growing up had a lot of going anywhere and doing anything (within reason) without too many of the mishaps that kids today are so carefully insulated. As long as I was back in time for supper, there was no reason to impose any limitations. 

At first, I'm sure I'd been hard pressed to give a definition to freedom. For the most part, it was an innocent ignorance within "given" rules and limitations. Later on, one of experiences that gave more form to that sense of freedom was when my cousins and I were the four freedoms in The Fourth of July parade in that little berg that was so much a part of our lives then.

To be honest, I don't remember what four freedoms we were. But I would guess they were Religion, Speech, Press and Assembly from the First Amendment although there was a fifth that gave the right to petition the government over grievances.

Since we were all Republicans, I doubt if we were the Four Freedoms from President Roosevelt's fireside chat that have become another standard of freedom. But maybe we were. Curiously, two freedoms  were essentially the same. And both played contrasting roles all through my life.

But even when I was much older, I still wasn't quite sure what "from want" and "from fear" practically meant, but all four were illustrated by Norman Rockwell in his folksy and memorable way. ...So close enough.

I'm not sure that I could even begin to address all that flows into and flows out of the word freedom. I believe the term is, as they say, pregnant with meaning. I would also add "and differences." Noting that kind of complexity and diversity, I can only offer, in the spirit of this blog, my own sense of freedom.

I want to be as free as I can be in body, mind and spirit. At some point, I would have said good luck with all of that. And now, to look at me, you would have to ask, "So this is what you call freedom?" No, I'm not exactly the poster child for freedom, but I am freer than I have ever been. Here are some understandings that have helped.

1.   Enmeshments. The fewer the better.

2.   Emotional Thinking. Fun but usually a waste of     

      time and not very rational.

3.   Appearances. Many times they are not what 

      they appear to be.

4.   Unnecessary Judgments. Chances are you are 

      not all that wise or wonderful.

5.   Individuality. Be who you are, not who you 

      think you need to be.

6.   Responsibility.(my mother would love this one)  

      Don't blame others for how you think, feel, 

      and behave.

7.   Equality. Don't play the PLU's and PLY'S game. 

      (People Like You, People Like Us)

8.   Spirituality. Make the most of what is already 

      here.

9.   Rightness. Sometimes helpful but not always 

      necessary or possible, especially about 

      everything.

10. Attachments. Detachment can accomplish the 

      same thing and look just as good.

11. Superiority. "When was it you started thinking 

      you were better than me?" Robert De Niro, The 

      Score 2001.

12. Following. Maybe okay for awhile but at some  

      place along the way, you'll need to take the road  

      less traveled.

      

More, maybe much more, could be said, but I think you get the gist. A lot of my being free is personal and internal as external circumstances are quite varied and conditioned. Even in the best situation, there's not much I can do about what's necessary for the common good and orderly function. Life comes with certain encumbrances, limitations and rules. But what I can do something about is the unnecessary relinquishment of freedom.

I can feel my graduate school voice coming on with some dreadfully boring delineated academic discussion. So it's going to be much better to give an entertaining but poignant example. 

http://themoth.org/posts/storytellers/jen-lee

Her story is not to say what's right, but to say what's right for her. These aren't the only situations where you can unnecessarily lose your freedom. I remember a seminar with Matthew Fox when he talked about a political campaign that had all the trappings of a rigid religion where the candidate was given God-like qualities and treated that way as well. Here again, many other situations can take this same direction or something eerily similar. Can you say Hollywood? Can you say Apple?

By the end of July, the memories of the bangs and illuminations of that one special day were given over to many more days of taking in the feeling of freedom. Some want to be happy. Some want to be loved. Some want to be smart. Some want to be strong. I want to play in the creek, go swimming at the lake, camp in the woods, lay out under the stars, and never have to go to school again.

THE NAME OF THE GAME

This was a little exercise that I started as a kid. I didn't have a name for it, but it could be played anywhere. Sometimes I played it in school, sometimes in church. It was an interesting distraction but honestly, it didn't take much to drift off in those days. Still doesn't. It was best played laying out under the stars at night. It went something like this. You start by imagining you are rising up and looking back to where you had just been then you continue to rise higher and higher. It wasn't long before I was well over the rooftop of my house and going higher until I could see the houses and farms that were around the lake area where I lived. After drifting even higher a nearby town came in view then several towns before I was high enough to see most of the county. 

It wasn't long before I had all of North Central Pennsylvania in sight. At first this was about as far as I could get. But with time, practice, TV, movies and further education, I was able to get higher and higher before everything was out of focus. Getting to the moon was great fun but I wanted to go farther. I was able to add more detail, color and clarity, but I was still limited in that I couldn't get much beyond Mars. Yet that had to be quite an accomplishment for someone who otherwise was an underachiever.

Somewhere along the way, I came across the popular Shakespeare quote:

I didn't think much about it at the time but the "more things in heaven" continually came up. And my exploring the universe became easier until I could make the journey without missing that much along the way. The only time I had any problem was when I ran into some Klingons. 

I more recently discovered a quote that was close to what I had been realizing in my own life.

 

This confirmed my thoughts on why I didn't fit into situations when I had to be a certain way. It took far too long for me to see and have confidence in seeing and knowing the world, and the cosmos, my way. 

As an adult I didn't play the game as much, but I did have a great appreciation for all the photos of and information about the cosmos that came my way. Unless its all a conspiracy of some kind. I had an idea that it was really big but not quite to the extent presently known.

The ever expanding cosmos assures more journeys. This time, starting from an old prairie pig farm. And though it still can be a great distraction, the game has paralleled another journey that has made it far more purposeful. I've come to accept that things work a little different for me and for others like me.

Writing countless papers in seminary did less for me than just hearing the "Hallelujah Chorus" one time. I pursued a lot of directions that just didn't fit, I wasn't built that way. No, this is not a coming out post. Although many family and friends have thought I was at least half gay. I might have to own up to some of that. But now, it seems rather anti-climatic. I was just taking a journey that went farther and farther away until it rested in what had been there all along.

Author unknown

Regardless of how any of us are built, I'd liked to think there's so much more in heaven and on the earth to continually draw us farther along and have the courage to drop the old things that didn't work and pick up the new things that bring a more complete understanding. For in truth, I really do believe that's the name of the game.