DON'T TAKE ALL THE FUN OUT OF SLOWLY DYING

It's been several years since I received a fatal diagnosis. I'm not only still here; I'm feeling a little better. That often happens before your demise, but maybe this a good day that turned into a good week and who knows might turn into a good month. I'd love to think that some improvement now only means there may not be any end to my process of slowly dying. That might be unexpected. But when you're having this much fun, you just don't want it to end. At this stage, I'm semi-incontinent. This provides quite a bit of fun in itself. But gratefully, there is more. 

1.  Nodding off at the computer is unpredictable. I might wake back up in ten minutes or it might be an hour later. The dreams are vividly weird. But the best is when in your bouts of narcolepsy you unknowingly hit the delete key and then get something else to do in having to restore your work. It can truly fill in the day as long as you don't nod off again.

2.  Another nice thing about the narcolepsy is that I can't drive myself for any distant travel. So, when I go Denver, I always have company. The only downside is when the company insists that I stay awake and talk to her. She'll talk about most anything except her sex life. That remains a mystery. 

3.  Being on oxygen is a blessing. It is a continual reminder of my limitation and dependence on God, especially when the hose gets caught under a chair leg, some other piece of furniture or the refrigerator. These moments allow me to ventilate my momentary rage, which I find to be very healthy. And as a bonus, carrying an O2 tank in public invites a lot of judgment and consideration. 

4.  I've learned by now that when I go all day having trouble catching my breath that I can instantly be relieved if I see that I hadn't been getting any oxygen because I hadn't switched over from the line that goes to the C-PAP machine. Also, I do believe that oxygen hoses were designed to kink on their own freewill. If not, there must be some magic involved.

5.  I don't mind not having the ability to stand very long or walk very far. I hadn't planned on doing that much standing and walking in the first place. I have to use the wheel chair to get into the doctor's office. I used to wheel myself, but now I need help. You wouldn't believe how special this bonding time is for my wife, even after all these years. But I could do without the passive-aggressive way she runs my feet into the elevator doors.

6.  I used to do a little food shopping on my own at the small store that is only 4 miles away. But now, I get all my groceries from the WHAT THE HELL DO YOU WANT THIS TIME? shopping service. Generally, this is really quite wonderful. Except I get a lot of unnecessary input like: That isn't on your diet, I brought you that last time, You just don't realize how much you eat, and If you want it, order it online.

7.  Taking insulin is a privilege when I remember to do a BS test. Otherwise, it's like casting fate to the wind or Diabetes Roulette. But this is another thing that I keep winning at. I'm on a hot streak! If I can keep it up, I'm sure there's a really nice prize that awaits me. Until then, the occasional peanut butter sandwich will have to do. 

8.  Being asked how I am feeling never gets old, even when I sense that I'm only being seen as the sick guy who hasn't died yet. All questions seem to be couched in the context of, "Surely, it can't be too much longer." I like to reply that I'm still in the same old medical misery for which I get, "Tell me again... What's wrong with you?" Here my heart is gladdened with knowing they haven't been weighed down with the basic information about my suffering. Besides, you have to walk that lonesome valley by yourself. I forget who said that.

9.  Oh Yes! ...Forgetting. Forgetting is perhaps what I do best. This just might be from getting older as a few of my other problems could. It's hard to place where the dying part comes in. Some days, life is a bit blurry. But I also have really good days. I try to tell myself not to overdue, but I usually do anyway. Some might speculate that I obviously do all of my writing on my blurry days. Which is partly true. On those days, I only write about politics and religion.   

10. The last and most precious part of slowly dying is the pain. Having been at various levels of pain since 1985, one might I think I was used to it. I've heard of those who were graceful even though they had so much pain. Some were even grateful for the pain. Well, call me a slow learner but after all of this time, I'm still waiting on the grace part. ...But somehow I push through to where I can do enough to make it look like I'm living, as graceless as that may be. You are probably asking where the fun part is then. It's in taking enough narcotics to be relieved but not so many as to become a real asshole. ...I usually error on the asshole side.

Even with the limitation, difficulty, diet, pain, embarrassment, misrepresentation, judgment, and isolation, slowly dying can be even more fun when I remember the words sung by Louis Armstrong.

  https://youtu.be/2nGKqH26xlg 

                    

ELECTION BLUES AND BOO'S

I’m still holding out for Gov. Walker to be the Republican candidate for president. How you say? Well, Trump drops out and the Koch brothers give unlimited support for Walker if only to get the undercard elected. It could happen!  But if it's doesn’t, I’ll probably vote for a third party candidate even if it hands Trump the election. Don’t get me wrong; I don’t think my vote alone can actually do that. But there’s a ways to go yet and who knows what the mood of the electorate will be or who will be actually running?

I predicted that both Trump and Clinton would be in jail by Election Day. Although there certainly are other scenarios where voting for either of them would be a bad idea. If either wins, I’m trusting the system to keep them from doing too much damage which means I have a lot of faith or I’m terribly naïve’. But I’ve also said if either wins that I would hideout in an old farmhouse on the barren plains of Colorado. I'm totally committed.

To me Trump has a lot of interesting takes on how the world works but most of all, he reminds me of the kind of white guy who walks around two feet above everyone else, who thinks he is knows what’s right about everything and has distain for anyone who questions or criticizes his superiority, opinions, knowledge, or sexual prowess. It is no wonder that white males are voting for him. He is their god. However, it is still tempting to vote for Trump for no reason other than the entertainment value.

Hillary, on the other hand, feels like an old shoe to me. The familiarity is as if she can be conformed to everyone’s foot. I admit that I’m comfortable with her business as usual stance. Despite any overtures to the Burning Bernie’s, I suspect she’ll compromise her way through Washington with only a few nominal changes. But I really do believe she’d blow the shit out of our enemies if only to show that she has bigger cojones than any woman who has held the office.

Bernie? Well Bernie said a lot of good things, but I don’t think America will ever be developed enough to be a Social Democracy. because for most of us that would take personal ethics, some actual trust, grudgeless sharing and a change of values. But he really tried make us believe we could do it. At first, it looked like real change breaking forth. But then Bernie took the popular route of resorting to campaigning on what wasn’t true about Hillary’s qualifications only to reverse it later. How be it, somewhat reluctantly. I would love to see the hard core Bernie supporters and the hardcore Trump supporters form a valid and accountable third party. Their conventions would be measured by the amount of blood that was shed.

In the end, the next First Lady probably comes down to who wore it best, or perhaps didn’t wear anything best. Of course, there is more to consider. I would have give Bill a handicap of two interns and a nervous secretary to be named. Even if you see them both as good possibilities, I think Melania gets the nod because it’s very possible that Bill will lose his voice altogether. And what designer is going to make dresses for a First Lady who can’t talk about them. Personally, I think I know about all there is to know about Melania to be happy with her as my First Lady. I just hope she can get used to slumming it in the White House.

Regardless of how it all plays out, I’m sure the Republican Party will be in ICU for quite a while. The closest they’ll get to the White House is the Easter Hunt, if even then. Their only hope is Ronald Regan and most of us know where he is. All the misrepresenting of him will not get the majority of Americans to support some of their current values no matter how much they kick Trump to the curb. But Democrats shouldn’t get too confident. There is a limit to how much the government runs our lives by incessant rules and conditional handouts.

Both parties spend on the ridiculousness of their pet projects and what is owed to their contributors. Perhaps a third party could put limits on both. When push comes to shove, most americans like a balance and fairness that gets something done, not a government that glorifies entrenchment and thinks the national debt will just somehow be magically paid off. Dreamers, schemers and in-betweeners, that’s what I learned in school today. That’s what I learned. …..What did you learn in school today?

A PRAIRIE HOME COMPANION

After the signature APM music, one hears what is called "Tishomingo Blues" with the following lyrics: 

I hear that old piano from down the Avenue

I smell the pine trees, I look around for you

Oh, my sweet, sweet, sweet old someone coming through the door

It's Saturday and the band is playing

Honey, could we ask for more 

It's funny to think about how long I've been listening to A Prairie Home Companion with my wife and how it was a program that the whole family looked forward to on Saturday night. For a while, APHC was the touchstone of our week. It gave a needed lift and a connection to something that was missing in the rest of the week. But when I saw that Garrison was retiring once again, I got a feeling that this time he truly would. And that was more okay with me than you might think.   It's not that I don't listen to the show every week but more about when. Usually, around Tuesday, sometime during the day. It's not a mandatory Saturday night ritual anymore. Some is due to how I have changed, some due to how the program has changed, and the rest due to NASCAR racing.

I would describe the transition of the show over the years, fairly or unfairly, as going from down home to pop. For me it was like when The Walton's started having all the same modern day problems as was seen in the popular culture. It's hard to keep Johnny down on the farm once he's seen the bright lights of the big city. Johnny here would be Garrison. If you followed the show at all, you are familiar with the theme. I suspect it was one that was held by many of the listeners as well. There was certainly a connection with those who remembered or still were seeking simpler times. Perhaps a respite from the drone of stressful demands.

There have been many great sponsor and advertising bits over the years and even some great moments in the not so funny and/or clever bits. From Martha's Kitty Boutique to Ralph's Pretty Good Grocery, from Powder Milk Biscuits to Ketchup, from English majors to Rhubarb, they were all tongue-in-cheek realities of everyday life. The things you want to laugh about. The various skits that came to be rather plentiful too often struggled to find their way. Often over laden with sound effects and predictability, they left you with a who's fooling whom feeling. Similarly, some of the songs that Garrison made up seemed more like filler than a tribute to the city they were visiting. You can't be on the air as long as the show has without a few misses but toward the end, they seemed to be more repetitive. Perhaps Garrison stayed at the well too long. But not so long as to take anything away from his success and place in American life.

Despite having been raised in Christian fundamentalism, Garrison had a gentle approach to religion. He made the most fun of Lutherans but could accurately poke at all other forms of Christianity. Overall, the place of weekly church attendance came through as the unquestioned duty of anyone who hoped to get God's notice in the hereafter. Another theme was the inescapable fact of family interaction whether you wanted it or not. The phone calls from Mom skit best bore this out with Garrison usually doing what his mother wanted him to do in the first place. The brief exchanges with his father were always sublime. And of course, the theme of community came mainly across in the weekly News from Lake Wobegon. The believable town where the last thing you would want to do is embarrass yourself, but somehow did it anyway.

The News had a running cast of characters that Garrison fleshed out over time to the extent you could compare them to those in your own life. Even if you never were to a hot dish supper, you would swear that you had. And for those who had, you recalled memories of inventive as well as traditional casseroles served with ham and red-eyed gravy in a grange hall where all the adults were getting along better than usual. In the News and elsewhere, Garrison made note of the weather, followed the seasons, marked the holidays, read poetry, commented on politics, told jokes, provided some musical history and occasionally reported on his love life both past and present. In some ways, APHC was Mr. Roger's Neighborhood for adults.

The demise of radio didn't come as was once predicted. I think mainly because the TV reception in cars was pretty bad for so many years. ...I suppose there could have been other reasons as well. But Garrison brought a "the way things used to be" kind of program with a spectrum of musical quests and witticisms that entertained all that had the time to drift away for a couple of hours. Soon to be over and fondly remembered, A Prairie Home Companion with Garrison Keillor will be one of the best things that ever happened to NPR.

 

ANOTHER AGENDA, ANOTHER BOYCOTT

Boycotts are a lot like how we give something up for Lent or make New Year's resolutions. The smart thing is to name something you don't care about in the first place. But then if someone asks, you're caught in a scam. Others commit in a more substantial way. But then by Easter, any memory of their sacrifice is lost to time and unintentional failure. One percent of them are not only successful to the letter of the rules involved but also to their spirit. Back in the day, the day being a long, long time ago, there were a lot of boycotts of this and that in the zealousness of youth. Some might be still going on, but not with the same fun as they were at first.

Some boycotts do work. At least Nelson Mandela thought so. And so did the good people of Montgomery, Alabama. Others might not accomplish their goal, but they shake things up for a while. But many are soon out of the news cycle even in this 24/7 era. So it is always interesting when a new boycott is announced. Usually, there is some upsetness (new word) involved based on a hardened agenda that is in competition with one or more other agendas. The rhetoric continues until malaise or practical necessity sets in. Winners and losers are then determined on both sides with very predictable results. This is how things are done these days. ...Or probably something like that.

 Here are some guidelines and tips you might want to consider if you are in a boycott.

1. Say you're boycotting a store like Target over something like their bathrooms. If you haven't shopped there in 20 years, you can say you've been boycotting their stores that long because you knew they'd eventually do something stupid.

2. If you're boycotting a fast food outlet that you really, really like, make use of their late night drive-thru hours dressed as the mascot of your favorite NFL team. If this is too much, pay someone you trust to get the food for you. But it still would be wise for them to go in disguise.

3. Approach any boycott as a lawyer would. For example, if you are boycotting Pepsi, it has to also specifically list Diet Pepsi. Otherwise you are free to drink it instead, especially if you have untreated Type II Diabetes or if your size only comes in a number and two letters.

4. Do not boycott a state that your grandmother has lived in all her life. She will not understand why you can't come see her.

5. Judging others who do not participate in or approve of the boycott creates a "Why don't you care as much as I do?" environment. This is good and very useful. It also cuts down on the number of Christmas, Ramadan, Winter Solstice, Hanukkah, Festivus and Kwansaa cards you will have to send. ....Or have to receive.

6. Be careful not to reveal or confirm any underlying schema no matter how obvious it may be. Good causes fueled by animus usually end up with doing the "I told you so! ...I told you so!" dance at the most inappropriate times.

7. Keep in mind that any boycott can be countered by those who feel strong enough to launch a buycott (probably needs a better word) hoping to negate the effects of your ban. Claims of persecution may rise if both sides are not following The Golden Rule. 

8. Sometimes, boycotts aren't thought through to their logical end. Unless you were a luddite, why would you boycott Google, Apple, Microsoft, Facebook, email etc, especially if they are a big part of your making a living. ...Exactly! You wouldn't. How else would you tell people about your boycott? The problem is that they might be doing the same thing as your boycotted is companies doing. It would be inconsistent if not downright hypocritical to exempt them. However, you could go back to paper. The USPO would love it. ....Now don't you wish you had bought more Forever Stamps?

Formal boycotts are just organized versions of everyday life. How many times have you said, "I'll never go back to that place again."? How many times have you quit talking to someone? How many times have you withheld affection or sex in order to make a point or get your way? Giving affection or sex to accomplish the same usually goes by a different word.

We routinely pull back when the situation is right. Perhaps not all the way, but we certainly pull back far enough so that it gets noticed. The marriage dynamic is probably the most obvious place where this is seen. But it's easily part of many other situations like work, church, school, society and not to forget, the extended family. Humans are an odd sort sometimes. And we will continue to be until we can find a better way to settle our differences and injustices.

Oh! One last thing. Boycotts are often like elections. It's pretty hard to tell who's telling the truth or even coming close to it. But if it's something that you agree with, chances are that it's the truth.

ANTI-ESTABLISHMENT

When I was younger, say 34-35, I still thought the longest word in the English language was antidisestablishmentandinterrism. I thought was a combination of antidisestablishment and interrism. That wasn't quite it. It was actually antidisestablishmentarianism and it wasn't the longest word either. Oddly, I have understood the issue as a Baptist and as an Anglican. Needless to say, there was a difference.  Granted, this could be resolved by allowing for context but even with that, separation of church and state seemed to be what was fair for all. But few have seen it as a black and white situation. Not only is there a lot of gray, there is a lot of direct involvement, especially by the larger churches. It seems that it's quite important to be a part of the establishment regardless of how it actually works or is defined.

Even the briefest attention paid to the news gets you an awareness of primary politics that leaves one wondering who or what the establishment really is? Or is there even such a thing in the first place if you can be part of it and not part of it at the same time. Most candidates can claim both at the same time or better yet show it by their actions when they are trailing in the polls. Since I believe we live in a world full of paradoxes, this just might be one of them. 

But I suspect the answer is much more a matter of convenience than anything else. Apparently the establishment has come under more challenge than it has in many years. Perhaps going back to when the Republicans were formed out of what was left of the Whig Party. So, this election cycle has the possibility of establishing a new establishment in both parties. But more than likely there will be quite the mess in the Republican Party if Trump is the candidate and a leftward ho shift in the Democrat Party even when Bernie doesn't become the national candidate.

For better or for worse, change is coming. How far it will go is anyone's guess. But for sure, if successful,  the new establishment that will likely succumb to power, privilege, prestige, partisanship, personal agendas, pandering and political exclusion. So right now, I can't get too excited. But I'm sure there is going to be a lot more entertainment like how Evangelicals actually end up voting, like a third party effort, like the possibility of both candidates being disqualified, like the media still not knowing what is going on, like more outrageous claims as to how a woman's body works - hence no need for equality, like how promises are made with no real idea of how to pay for them, like all the reasons that Wall Street is more important than the care of our wounded veterans, and like so many other things that are exploited or ignored when no one can agree on what the facts are in the first place.

It might be too simplistic to say the next presidential election will be the greed of a few versus the greed of the many or a vote for the lesser of two evils which still means voting for evil. There is a potential to change the way things don't get done in Washington. It will be interesting to see where the vote for self-interest comes out and if there is any kind of establishment change. My prediction is that enough will be disrupted that it will be hard to put it back the way it was. ...But what do I know, I was going for Scott Walker to win.  

GENERALISSIMO FRANCISCO FRANCO IS STILL DEAD

To my surprise, I heard the other day that Generalissimo Francisco Franco was still dead. I just couldn't believe it. If there were anyone whom I thought would NOT be still dead, it would be him. He took so long to die that I thought for sure that he could at some point come back to life again. Well, I guess he didn't. Frankly, I'm disappointed. It would be quite the event, as coming back to life doesn't happen as often as those who can so easily expend it might think. The reverse process is a little more involved, except on soap operas where they pull it off on quite a regular basis. But sometimes, it's just the evil twin.

I'm sure there is some controversy as what constitutes a true coming back. I have heard of those who woke up in a morgue. Who knows what exactly happens in those cases. Similarly, near-death experiences are interesting but seem quite subjective. And anything like reincarnation appears to be something entirely different. So to really count, you should be dead for it at least a few days and regardless of how long, you should come back as you where or maybe a little improved. 

When I was young, "by now he stinketh" was one of my favorite Bible verses. By the time I was a teenager, verses talking about breasts overtook any thoughts of a rotting corpse. But I didn't get very far from that imagery. Death became all too real and its finality was quite observable. To my knowledge, there have been no returns. ...Yet anyway.

But as I approach that inevitable moment, I'm entertaining a notion of what it might be like to return to Earth. Perhaps it would be to live life all over again in order to do the things I didn't get to do in this life. But I'm not so sure about dealing with all the things I didn't like for a second time. Going the other way, say a hundred years from now, I can't see were that much would change before I made it back. I suspect there would still be plenty to dislike, but also lots to like as well.

As much as I increasingly long for memorable days and wish I could redo some parts my life, I'm beginning to see there's no need to change or relive what is done, regardless the joy involved. I have been more fortunate than many, I've suffered what many haven't, I've made choices that only seemed right at the time, my world awareness grew from a small farm to a rather large cosmos, I've seen people at their best and at their worst, and I've seen truth as an ever moving target. ...But I would never say that any of it was meant to be.


 

THE STRANGE CASE OF THE KENTUCKY CLERK

I don't always get things right. Just ask anyone who knows me. I can have blank spaces in my thinking which when realized are quite embarrassing. But if I stay with something long enough, the blank spaces get filled in. Sometimes however, there are situations that keep me wondering where the truth of the matter really lies, if indeed that can be determined. Like the situation of the Kentucky clerk who is refusing to issue marriage licenses to anyone because her religious conviction is that marriage is between a man and a women only, but if she issued licenses only to them it would discriminate against the man/man and women/women applicants. Does anyone have some aspirin?

Add to this that her main defender says it's actually Kentucky law and that the law has to change before she is obligated to follow the Supreme Court ruling. This apparently is how the constitution works but so few understand it that way. This Kentucky clerk is apparently one of the few. But also her defender says that this Kentucky clerk has the conviction of her beliefs, natural law and the law of God that overrides any Supreme Court decision and that she might be the first Christian (in the modern era I assume) to go to jail for standing up for what she believes. I guess Martin Luther King was just there for a visit. 

So, is it a matter of constitutional law, standing against what is morally wrong like slavery, or convoluted politics wrapped in religious zeal? Just so I won't be completely wrong, I'm going to say all three.

Constitutional law isn't that constitutional when it varies according to which justices happen to be on the court at the time. But there are ways to change Supreme Court rulings. One is by amendment, but that is quite the process so replacing the justices who will overturn or change the law to something you like better seems to be the more direct approach.

Standing against what you believe to be morally wrong is not only a right, it's a duty. The problem is that this duty is shared by everyone else. There are several options here. Be in a position in order to enforce or impose your beliefs. Be in position to argue for your beliefs. Be in position to do peaceful protest ...or violent if you're really angry. Be in position to support politicians that agree with you or at least say they do. Be in position to use Second Amendment solutions as needed, unless of course you are a Muslim.

The church and state relationship seems to be something that's used when it's convenient and not used when it's not convenient. Whatever way it's currently taken, it's that way for all "churches." But some argue that a majority church can have priority. I'm not sure why that's necessary if the majority church votes as it should. They would win by the sheer reality of numbers. But maybe this is the problem. The majority church doesn't vote as it should because there's not an agreement as to what is right for a nation of many voices. Must be that's harder than it looks.

It will be interesting to see what all comes from further legal, religious and political involvement. But if I were this clerk in Kentucky, I'd think about getting a job at Hobby Lobby or Chic-fil-A. ...But for sure, it would be out of practicality more than anything else.